You may re-read a message long after sending it, rehearse a conversation that has not happened or replay something you wish you had handled differently.
If you have been told to “stop overthinking”, you may already know that the instruction is easier to give than to follow.
Instructions to stop may fail because overthinking often begins automatically and is reinforced by attempts to gain certainty.
Why instructions to stop thinking may fail
Try this: for the next ten seconds, do not think about a red front door.
What happened when you read that instruction?
Overthinking often begins without a deliberate decision. By the time you notice it, the analysis may already be well underway. Trying to force it to stop can add more monitoring, frustration and self-criticism, which may keep attention on the same thoughts.
You can recognise that you are repeating yourself and still find it difficult to leave the thought alone. It helps to describe when that happens and what you do next. The article on physical anxiety explores a related difficulty: knowing a situation is safe while still feeling anxious.
What the loop may be trying to achieve
Overthinking is usually trying to do a job: get ready for something, catch a mistake before anyone else does, or get certain about something that can’t be made certain.
Ask what you are trying to achieve by thinking it through again. Are you preparing for a conversation, checking for a mistake or looking for reassurance? The answer may differ between situations.
Then ask whether another round of thinking is producing anything new: a decision, an action or information you did not have before. If it is repeating the same questions, note that too.
These details help us choose a useful goal. For example, you might want to send a message after a reasonable check, or spend less of your evening rehearsing the next day.
Ways to interrupt the loop
When further analysis keeps the loop going, it can help to redirect attention in the moment and address the underlying trigger over time.
The exercise below is one way to give a recurring worry a specific time and place. Try it as an experiment and notice whether it helps you return to the rest of your evening.
In sessions, I ask you to describe a specific occasion in detail: what started the thinking, what you noticed and what you did. We agree what you want to happen differently and how to review progress. The first-session guide explains the process.
No single technique suits everyone. If an exercise is not helping, that is a reason to review the approach.
Exercise: schedule time for the worry
This is one practical way to give a recurring worry less of your evening. It does not argue with the thought; it gives it a defined place and time.
The aim: write the concern down and choose a specific time to return to it, rather than repeatedly considering it throughout the evening.
Step one: capture it, on paper. When the loop starts, especially at night, write the worry down in one or two plain sentences. Paper avoids the extra distractions waiting on a phone. Keep it to a headline: “Worried the email to Sam sounded rude.” Putting the concern into concrete words can make it easier to return to deliberately rather than carrying it as a vague alarm.
Step two: give it an appointment. Under the worry, write when you will return to it, such as “Tomorrow, 5:15pm, ten minutes.” Choose a time you can realistically keep.
Step three: keep the appointment. At the scheduled time, sit with the note for ten minutes and consider the worry deliberately. Ask whether there is an action to take and, if so, identify the smallest one. If there is no action, record that clearly. Stop when the ten minutes end.
Step four: return to what you were doing. If the loop restarts, remind yourself that the concern is written down and scheduled. Then direct your attention to a physical sensation for thirty seconds, such as the chair supporting you, sounds in the room or your feet on the floor.
What to expect: the worry may return at first. When it does, remind yourself when you’ll come back to it and return to what you were doing. After a few evenings, consider whether this gave you more time for something else. You don’t need to count every thought. If it becomes another checking task or makes you feel worse, stop and review the approach.
And if the loop’s favourite venue is your bed, and the real cost is sleep, I have written separately about why the mind will not switch off at night, including what to do once the lights are out.
If you’d like to see your own loop laid out, the switching-off questions take about two minutes, and nothing you choose leaves the page.
When to get help with overthinking
The worry appointment may contain the loop without changing what triggers it. If overthinking is long-standing, appears across many areas of life or is linked with how you see yourself, a fuller therapeutic assessment may be more useful than another brief technique.
One thing to say plainly: if overthinking or anxiety is weighing on you heavily right now and affecting your daily life significantly, your GP is the right first port of call, and hypnotherapy can work alongside the care they offer.
Common questions
Talk it through with Adel
If overthinking is taking up too much of your day or night, we can talk about the loop and what you would like to change. Sessions are available in Rugby and online.
The first step is a free 30-minute Zoom call. Bring your questions and we’ll see whether working together feels right.
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